Make that: Yankees win!

3:35 Ivan the cat sent that last post before I could write it. Albaladejo (need a nickname for him) covers first base as Berroa makes the play in the hole, and the Yankees win 5-1. Hey, it's great to have baseball back.

By the way, stay away from the Web site "soxandpinstripes.com." It's loaded with this "nothing like Red Sox Nation for passion, dedication," blah, blah, blah. Exactly the stuff that makes Red S*x fans the most annoying, insufferable donkeys on earth.

It is at this time that I will point out that the idea of calling a fan base "nation" originated with the Raiders, not the Red S*x. Congratulations, S*x fans. You ripped off your identity from the Raider fans -- easily the dumbest fans on earth.

I'm off to eat ice cream, do laundry and get tickets for Slumdog Millionaire. More later. LET'S GO YANKEES!

Yankees win

3:31: Jon Albaladejo is back in to pitch for the second time. Kay had him in the game in the third, when it was actually Brian Bruney. Whatever. So Kay's not in midseason form either. He doesn't make these mistakes too often. Notice I didn't say "these kind" of mistakes. Writers do that all the time. "These kind." Amazing.

My laptop is now a knee-top. The cat was tired of watching me fry my sperm with the heat from the computer. Now he wants a crack at it. It is not easy typing like this. I want a raise.

3:22: Excellent product placement, as they point out that the soft-serve ice cream being dispensed is Carvel. I think I'll go for ice cream after this. It won't be Carvel.

3:19: Melancon strikes out a hitter by painting the outside corner. Two up, two down. Trying to blog here, and Red S*x fans keep IMing me on Facebook. I actually like these two, though. A little.

3:17: I just realized, the Islanders own the Bridgeport Sound Tigers, who represent my best chance to get a broadcasting job in pro hockey. I love the Islanders!

3:15: Mark Melancon on to pitch for the Yankees. I'm actually going to pay attention. He's a prospect. Could be up this year, from all I've read. Pronounced "muh LAN sin." Kinda like Billy Smith's backup with the Islanders. I hate the Islanders.

Watch out in the dugout!

3:08: Shelley Duncan blasts a three-run shot to left off of Calvin Medlock. Yes, THE Calvin Medlock. I say that because I don't want to be like everyone else who thinks he's cute by writing "somebody named ..." about every no-name player you see in spring games. I get it. You don't people to think you're presupposing they know who these nobodies are, lest you look like a complete geek. We get it. You don't know who most of the players are in the seventh inning of a February game. I don't either. Let's move on.

Anyway, it appears his teammates survived Shelley's dugout re-entry after the home run. Good to see.

2:57: J.B. Cox is getting hit hard. Somebody named Sadler drove a curveball out to left to put runners at first and second. Singleton describes the pitch as a hanging breaking ball. I have to observe: the ball didn't appear to hang. It was a curveball for a strike. Had Sadler taken it, it would have been caught slightly below the knees for a strike, and Singleton would have called it a good "nose-to-toes breaking ball." So I have to ask: is every curveball that is hit hard a "hanging curveball"? Seems a little knee-jerky.

Cox gets out of the inning. 2-1 Yanks.

2:51: Angel Berroa shows some range at second base to make a play on an Elliot Johnson grounder in short right, but the throw is late. It's a conspiracy from the two to destroy the Yankees. First Berroa robs Hideki Matsui of the 2003 Rookie of the Year award, then Johnson breaks our third-string catcher's wrist in last year's spring training, and now this.

2:53: Somebody named Nunez just failed to come up with a bouncer in the hole at short. Johnson, who stole second, scores to make the score 2-1. Nunez had better not make the team. If I have to listen to John Sterling murder his name, even 25 times a year, I'll go crazy.

2:47: I wish Kay would stop reading from the Michael Kay script. Does he really have to use the phrase "aforementioned New York Yankees" EVERY SINGLE TIME he reads the disclaimer? I'm just thrilled he's not on the radio anymore to read the uniform description. "No name ... ... ...






... of course."

2:38: Kay has just described "wholesale changes" in the Yankee lineup. Jeter's still in there. So are Angel Berroa and someone named Colin Curtis, and the three of them just combined on a nice relay. Scoreless inning for Marte.

Yes, the GEICO gecko has gotten a little old, but that doesn't mean you replace him with a pile of money with eyes. Has even one of these commercials been funny? One?

2:29: Posada bombs an RBI double to deep center. 2-0 Yanks. Yeah, I'd say the Bombers missed this guy. And WILL miss him. He's not getting any younger. Better start developing some hitters, preferably including one who can catch.

Fifth inning over. Wow. Spring games go fast. I'd better hustle if I'm going to have another beer.

2:23: Brian Bruney on to pitch. I thought Michael Kay said Jon Albaladejo was pitching. Maybe he was, and Bruney has already replaced him. Do they do that in the spring? Do they bring in relievers all ready to pitch without warming up on the mound? I have probably not watched three spring games in my life. I always had, like, a job or something.

2:25: Bruney Ks Adam Kennedy to end the Rays' fourth. Still 1-0 NY. If this score holds up, they'll be talking about this Posada home run for hours.

2:17: Tex lines a single, only to be retired on an A-Rod double play. Welcome to New York, Tex. The path from second base to the Yankee dugout will be officially dubbed "The Mark Teixeira Highway" on Old Timers Day, I'm told.

2:11: Coke finishes his second scoreless inning by striking out Chris Richard with a fastball at the knees. Bullpen should be in good hands with this kid. Damaso Marte had better it together or he's not going to be the guy.

They just flashed a shot of Kei Igawa in the Yankee dugout. I will now pull an Oedipus and gouge my eyes out.

2:06: Michael Kay says the new Yankee Stadium is "absolutely breaktaking." Jack Bauer just told Agent Walker not to kill Kay's family.

2:05: Dammit. Ben Zobrist's liner to right center breaks up what I was sure was going to be a six-pitcher no-hitter.

2:02: Coke on for his second inning. They're showing the crowd on camera. Sunny and 70 in Tampa, and some kid is sitting outside eating ice cream. What the hell am I doing in effing Boston?

The kid is wearing a Yankee hat and a Rays shirt. His father should be suspended. Suspended from what? I don't know. But he should be suspended for at least a week for that. Unless you're Brady Quinn's sister, you shouldn't be pulling that crap.

It's gone!

1:55: First pitch Posada has seen since last spring, and IT'S GONE! A no-doubter to right. 1-0 Yanks.

1:52: Great range by Cano on what looked like a sure hit to short right. Perfect second for Coke. Posada due up. Will be great to see him swing the bat. After the damn good season he had in 2007, the Yankees missed him badly last year. Tough to go through the season with Jose Molina as your starting catcher. At least we didn't have to watch Jason Varitek impersonate a major league hitter.

1:50: OK, everybody, let's play the Obscure Yankee Game! Phil Coke wears No. 48. Obscure Yankee who wore that number: Dale Murray. Bet you can't beat that. Coke has retired the first two hitters on pitches at the knees, both lazy fly balls.

1:49: Phil Coke on to pitch. Now that's a name. Bob Shepherd must hate it. It doesn't sound anything like "Alvaro Espinoza."

1:45: Way too early to decide anything, but Wade Davis looks awfully good. Just blew away Cano with a fastball just off the plate, then gets Eggzavier on a weak grounder to third. Perfect through two. Must be nice to pitch for an AL Champion that nobody watches.

1:43: A-Rod strikes out. Yankee fans cheer. This is not going to be a fun year for him. I'd still like him to move to Siberia. Seriously, he's not having a good year this year. There's no way.

1:40: Hughes works through the second with a walk and a K. Set up the last hitter with a nice, Mussina-like overhand curve. Roidriguez due up in the second. I guess this is not the time for me to go get another beer.

Wow. A lot of boos.

They're getting stronger. The boos are on steroids.

1:34: Ken Singleton is at his subservient best. He's just congratulated Tex for keeping his foot on the bag to retire Gabe Kapler 5-3, as a replay clearly showed Tex's foot off the bag. You're watching YES, the home of champions.

1:32: Mark Teixeira chases a high-away fastball for strike three, as minor-leaguer Wade Davis makes quick work of Damon, Jeter and Tex in the first. Oh, by the way, it's pronounced "Tei-egg-zera." Seriously.

1:27: Inning over, as Hughes jams a hitter with a fastball just in off the plate. Fastball looks good.

1:23: Flyout to Xavier Nady for second out. I'll never get used to people calling him "Eggzavier." I know that's his preference, but it drives me crazy. You've never heard of an "eggzylophone," have you?

1:20: Phil strikes out Carl Crawford on three pitches. Hughes is 22. His numbers last year were awful. You know what? He could suck just as much this year. I'm not loisng faith in him. He's going to be the real thing.

1:21: Phil hits Willie Aybar. Maybe this is the guy who can start dusting Big Papi this year.

1:17: Nice fastball from Phil Hughes for strike one. The pre-season is underway.

1:18: Not-so-nice fastball hits Adam Kennedy in the back. Once upon a time Kennedy was a good fantasy acquisition of mine. Pretty much the only one I ever had. I suck at fantasy baseball.

1:14: All the starters playing today for the Yankees, after somebody named Linden and someone named Miranda started yesterday. I'm sure it's just a coincidence that yesterday's game was not broadcast and today's is.

Bernie Williams has just thrown out the first pitch. Just finished Torre's book. They talk about Bernie's exit from the team. The higher-ups screwed that up.

By the way, the book is pretty interesting, but Torre's name being on it as if he co-authored the book is misleading. Only in the last 100 pages does it even really become a biography of him. It's Tom Verducci's report on the 1996-2007 Yankees.

1:05: Probably shouldn't be drinking beer as I'm planning to work out later. I'll let you know how that goes. The ham and cheese sandwich has brought the cats running. They are still hung over from Tuesday night's ham party. These two are obsessed with ham. See, this is why dogs are better. A dog would never sit at my feet and beg for food. I'm getting a dog as soon as I'm back from my honeymoon. I don't know if I've got my fiancee behind this project yet, but she's a sucker for anything cute.

Here comes the diary!

1:04 p.m. EST: Got ham and cheese sandwich in one hand, beer in the other, so it's time for Yankee baseball! How am I typing with a sandwich in one hand and a beer in the other? What can I say? I'm good.

The Embassy -- Why I'm blogging

The Embassy is a place where one can be at home, even behind enemy lines. In this case, it is a safe haven for a Yankee fan living in Boston. I moved here in September 2008 to live with my wife-to-be and instantly dubbed our apartment The Embassy, because I want Red S*x fans to know they are no longer in Boston when they set foot here. They are on Yankee soil, and while they are welcome here, their rhetoric is not. You know, the "most loyal fans in sports" crap. The "you bought all your championships" nonsense (as if their farm system produced Manny Ramirez, Pedro Martinez, Curt Schilling or many of the others who contributed to the Tragedy of 2004). And any S*x fan who chants "Yankees suck" in this place is leaving -- through the door, if they're lucky.

So, is this a Yankees blog or an anti-Red S*x blog? Actually, it's neither. It's a place for me to write. I left a long career in journalism behind when I left Fairfield County, and I need to keep my writing skills sharp -- which presupposes they were sharp to begin with.

And I'll be writing about all manner of subjects. It's just that the Yankees -- and, by extension, their rivalry with the Red S*x -- are among my favorite topics. Also, I suppose I hope I'll develop a following and get known for this blog, the way Bill Simmons did as the Boston Sports Guy. I'm not going to try to emulate Simmons, of whom I am a huge fan. But we're guys. He writes about guy stuff. I'm going to write about guy stuff. But we'll have a few built-in differences. There will be very little talk of the NBA or golf, because I watch neither. There will be hockey talk.

And there will be plenty of discussion of Syracuse basketball and, if they're ever worth writing about, football. That's right, the Rangers, Giants and Syracuse embassies share office space with the Yankees Embassy.

I'm off to buy stuff for dinner. Gotta be back in an hour for Embassy post No. 2: the first TV broadcast of the 2009 Yankees, today, with Phil Hughes on the mound.